Times that used to be..

Laughter and chatter all around

I open my eyes now and it's all gone!

I now see the empty seats around me

There once was a time when there were hardly any spaces free

We perched on the tables, crushed each other on the chairs

The infinite cups of coffee & a plate of snack for the many hands

Tired faces chattering happily till late night

Stories overflowed the coffee cup clutter

The walks on empty streets at unearthly hours

The laughter echoing along with the howling stray dogs

Chasing each other for no apparent reason

Hugging, fighting & those never ending good byes

Love, hate, dreams & hopes

Our lives we shared

Loneliness was a word unknown

For there was hope & care always shown

Now it’s just a reminder of the times that used to be

Those days will never be back

We just have to wait & see

Time flies, life moves on

We are all forced to grow

 We all have to go our separate ways, I know

But the memories will stay forever

Etched in our heart & soul

It’s hard to let go

But it’s a hope that some day

We’ll meet again that’s what gets us through

 I sit here now at the same old place with the same old cup of coffee

And the reminders of the times that used to be..       

Survivor

Smile on her lips, pain in her eyes

She still sees the silver lining in the cloudy skies

With her dreams crushed, and the reality glaring

She builds towers from the debris of her broken dreams

She makes mistakes, she falls

She dusts herself off the ground

She’s her own guide & best friend

‘Cause when times get tough, she knows there’s no one you can rely on

Both time & people can change

Experiences have taught her that way

She’s strong, she’s sweet

She’s a ninja hiding in a bunny suit!

She fights her own battles & still carries on

She’s a Survivor, you can never break her spirit down!

Emptiness

Empty heart, Empty soul

That’s what I’ve become

Everything’s blurry now

Pain has made me so numb

It’s not that I want you again

But something has just died in me

Wearing the mask of normalcy

The world still sees the same old me

My laugh covers up the cracks

Hiding deep in the facade

Sitting here alone I wonder

If I could ever be the same again

The tears have dried up now

But the emptiness still remains

Moved on so many times now

But square one is where I end up

Seems like everyone sees a pretty face

But not the fragile heart that hides under
May not have felt the same way again

But being trampled upon still brings the pain

Is it all what everyone ever sees?

The face & not the person to go with it?

Even the truth has shades of grey.

Everything is not as it seems,

I now know why they say

Empty heart, Empty soul

Is what I now live with!

Random Act of Kindness

Life never ceases to surprise me! At times, you get the things that you never expected and at others, you just lose those things that were meant to be yours. Life is strange. Sometimes kindness is shown by strangers and your close ones may not be around when you need them the most. It‘s not some philosophy I’m blabbering, it’s something I’ve gone through many a time.

This incident happened a few months ago. I was new to the city, doing my first job.  I was into advertisement sales, so it required me to be on field all day, roam in the sun, talk to different sorts of people (nice, rude, jackasses, etc). But all I would get after slogging like hell was my bosses talks on how I’m not working, how the targets are not reached, etc, etc – the usual de-motivating shit. I was staying away from home & hardly had any savings. I was miserable as hell! There was this one time at the end of the month when I hardly had any money, I had to skip my lunch, walk all around just to save up cash. I was roaming in the hot sun trying to get work done. I was so hungry and tired as hell! Empty stomach, sore feet , hot sun & empty pocket can make a hell of a combination! That day, of all the people, I had to go visit this client who owned a sweet meat store! So you can just imagine how my state must have been when I entered the place! I met a simple lady at the cash counter and assumed she was the boss & started talking to her. But then she tells me that I need to talk to her husband (owner) as he is the one who takes the decisions. I was disappointed that I walked all the way for nothing. I was tired as hell and it showed on my face. So I thank her & I was about to leave, that’s when she stops me and asks me to have a plate of gulab jamun & leave. I know a plate of gulab jamun doesn’t cost much but all I had with me  when I checked my purse that day was a 10 rupee note & few coins. I keep smiling & saying no to her but she kept telling me to have it.  Then I finally had a plate of it & it felt so good to have something so yummy. I then ask her how much should I pay, praying that let it be within how much ever money I have in my wallet. To my surprise she says - no you’re not paying, it’s ok! I kept insisting her to take money but she didn’t agree to take it. She smiled at me and asked me to come again!

It may seem irrelevant or silly to whoever may be reading this. But till date, I still don’t know why she didn’t accept the money from me. I kept thanking god that day for sending me across to someone so kind hearted in my time of need! What amazes me is that - sometimes strangers who you may never meet again show kindness & the people you’ve known forever turn a blind eye. Do some random act of kindness today. You never know how a small thing could help someone in a huge way. I’ll never be able to forget that lady for the kindness she showed me that day.  God bless her! J

Numb

Blank in the head

Numb with ache

I walk aimlessly in the rain

Splashed by the bus

Drenched to the bones

I trip & fall some place

Tears are streaming off my face

But it wasn’t the fall that caused me the pain

It’s just the hole in my heart that aches!

What do I do without you?

Is what I’ve been wondering all day!

Finally I reach my now empty place

Memories of you are etched across the space

Close my eyes and try to drift away

But restless ‘n sleepless is all I get

Take a swig from the bottle and drink it all away

For only it can drown my pain

And make all the memories of you go away

I’m exhausted with everything now

So hope it will help me find solace

‘Cause what do I do without you?

Is what I’ve been wondering all day!

Blinded

There for you whenever you need

But that’s not what happens when it’s me

A slave is all you want me to be

But that doesn’t even bother me

As only yours is all I want to be

But why is it the flaws are all you can see?

I’m fat, I’m ordinary

That’s what you keep telling me

I’m no diva, I agree

But why can’t you see

The only one who truly loves you is me?

My friends say that you’re using me

All I say them is it’s not like what it seems

Shielding you all the time

Excuses are all I can give

But that doesn’t stop you from walking all over me

When your eyes stray, you know it kills me

But doesn’t stop you from cheating on me

But love has me blinded

And my judgement’s so clouded

Every day is an ordeal for me

I wish it was easy for me to just leave!

That rainy day!

Wind in my hair

Raindrops on my face

How can I ever forget that rainy day?  

Fogging up the glass

Drawing up a face

Never had so much fun that way!

Holding your hand

Running barefoot in the rain

How could that just make my day?!

Twirling my hair

The dreamy look on your face

I couldn’t wipe off the smile on my face

Gazing into your eyes

Listening to you laugh

Sent me to dreams faraway

Standing under that old banyan tree

And that quick peck on my cheek

Just sent me blushing like wildfire

Although it’s been ages now

This moment’s stayed with me for long 

I just don’t know how

May be it sounds just plain to all

But to me to me it was the perfect day

How can I ever forget that rainy day?