Emptiness

Empty heart, Empty soul

That’s what I’ve become

Everything’s blurry now

Pain has made me so numb

It’s not that I want you again

But something has just died in me

Wearing the mask of normalcy

The world still sees the same old me

My laugh covers up the cracks

Hiding deep in the facade

Sitting here alone I wonder

If I could ever be the same again

The tears have dried up now

But the emptiness still remains

Moved on so many times now

But square one is where I end up

Seems like everyone sees a pretty face

But not the fragile heart that hides under
May not have felt the same way again

But being trampled upon still brings the pain

Is it all what everyone ever sees?

The face & not the person to go with it?

Even the truth has shades of grey.

Everything is not as it seems,

I now know why they say

Empty heart, Empty soul

Is what I now live with!

Random Act of Kindness

Life never ceases to surprise me! At times, you get the things that you never expected and at others, you just lose those things that were meant to be yours. Life is strange. Sometimes kindness is shown by strangers and your close ones may not be around when you need them the most. It‘s not some philosophy I’m blabbering, it’s something I’ve gone through many a time.

This incident happened a few months ago. I was new to the city, doing my first job.  I was into advertisement sales, so it required me to be on field all day, roam in the sun, talk to different sorts of people (nice, rude, jackasses, etc). But all I would get after slogging like hell was my bosses talks on how I’m not working, how the targets are not reached, etc, etc – the usual de-motivating shit. I was staying away from home & hardly had any savings. I was miserable as hell! There was this one time at the end of the month when I hardly had any money, I had to skip my lunch, walk all around just to save up cash. I was roaming in the hot sun trying to get work done. I was so hungry and tired as hell! Empty stomach, sore feet , hot sun & empty pocket can make a hell of a combination! That day, of all the people, I had to go visit this client who owned a sweet meat store! So you can just imagine how my state must have been when I entered the place! I met a simple lady at the cash counter and assumed she was the boss & started talking to her. But then she tells me that I need to talk to her husband (owner) as he is the one who takes the decisions. I was disappointed that I walked all the way for nothing. I was tired as hell and it showed on my face. So I thank her & I was about to leave, that’s when she stops me and asks me to have a plate of gulab jamun & leave. I know a plate of gulab jamun doesn’t cost much but all I had with me  when I checked my purse that day was a 10 rupee note & few coins. I keep smiling & saying no to her but she kept telling me to have it.  Then I finally had a plate of it & it felt so good to have something so yummy. I then ask her how much should I pay, praying that let it be within how much ever money I have in my wallet. To my surprise she says - no you’re not paying, it’s ok! I kept insisting her to take money but she didn’t agree to take it. She smiled at me and asked me to come again!

It may seem irrelevant or silly to whoever may be reading this. But till date, I still don’t know why she didn’t accept the money from me. I kept thanking god that day for sending me across to someone so kind hearted in my time of need! What amazes me is that - sometimes strangers who you may never meet again show kindness & the people you’ve known forever turn a blind eye. Do some random act of kindness today. You never know how a small thing could help someone in a huge way. I’ll never be able to forget that lady for the kindness she showed me that day.  God bless her! J